Words starting with S and E

The metro this morning brought good news today to the over crowded 08:12 train to Canon Street.

Firstly car insurance companies will be charging women almost the same premium as men under Equality laws backed by the EU! maybe saving me over £3,000 over a ten years. Well horar! While women may have to pay almost £9,000. We all saw it coming ladies!

A little true fact . . .

While on average men make more insurance claims than ladies. Female Drivers have more accidents .. they are just minor so don't claim for them! With all that mascara and cover up in their bags they could buff up a LandRover! (Thats not sexist men could equally jump start one with the gadgets in their bag!)

Secondly Orange are bringing their call centres back to the UK. After explaining to some nice fella at work yesterday, I wasn't making up a post code I gave him and 20 minutes later he figured out he needed to put a space in it, and then magically revealed he had it on file any way! that was 20 minutes spent with me trying to think of words starting with S&E, and its true what Michael Mcintyre says you can only think of rude words, if any! strangely I could only think of Execution and Suicide

It may sometimes make my job easier, although I will miss their impecable manors and politeness, I don't know if the 18 year old CSA from the UK, who staggered in at 7Am after 300 WKDS will have the same alertness and drive.

A tiny Bit excited

I'm just sitting at work at the moment, the mornings been exciting with new hopefuls candidates replacing the many workers we have leaving. Its true that trying to make a job like working in a phone shop sound exciting but so far they have all entered with a big grin excited and willing. I've noticed my manager has looked for certain key aspects in the candidates 1) They are all female 2) they are all good looking. So far they have all had the right .. lets say assets.
After they leave the manager and I discuss the pros and cons of each candidate.

Few cons I found

Question: What preparation have you done for your interview
Answer: I use an Orange phone

Question: What challenges do you think you will find difficult working in a store
Answer: Selling

last but not least; after the girl turned up 20 mins late,


Question: what do you think you achieve well
Answer; punctuality

Should I really advertise

I've just seen this wonderful idea from blogger you can advertise on your blog. Should I fall short of what I believe in! we get advertised to all day and all night. I spend 12 hours a week trying to sell people rubbish they don't want! Maybe this space of cultural commons is rather nice should I really ruin it with adverts for loans! Lets face it even if I start now maybe the profits will buy me a pint in the summer . . its worth thinking about

I started work at 8 today which was lovely as the shop was closed for an hour till 9 so no customers. The bliss was quickly gone after HRH Manager of Greenwich minced in. After Imrans cleaning squad failed miserable to clean anything on the cleaning day, (they failed even worse lying about cleaning!) as punishment while the boss put his feet up, Imran ran wildly round like a headless chicken with a 22 page cleaning list without a clue in the world. Naturally I would be furious for being called in 4 hours early and having to clean etc etc but Imran ordered everyone Dominos pizza so don't fear Imran I'm right behind you on this one buddy. Things were going well till for security reasons The almighty wanted to change the door code ... forgetting Imran was on the other side of the door completely ignorant of any changes, it made for some good CCTV view for 5/10 minutes. Till karma got the best of us as we all forgot the altered code and spend the rest of the day locking ourself out. Gladly I had a wonderful idea and printed the door code in big letters and stuck it around the back office (yes it went down like a tonne of bricks)

Virgin, Virgin, Virgin

After a fascinating lecture on memorials Friday afternoon I rushed back home via Tesco picking up some big juicy lamb shanks. Knowing that my guest was on the train just 6 MINUTES behind, I cracked a sweat picking up dirty washing, bringing down cups etc etc all the things your parents told you to do on a daily basis but you have failed to do when living alone!
(parents advice 1 - me 0).
Knowing I had seconds I quickly threw the lamb mint wine etc etc all on a hot pan hoping the smell and aroma of the meat would mask the now rancid smell oozing from the kitchen fridge. Just as I rushed to get the last of the pants off the floor the door went.... Apparently Ladies don't appreciate hearing "bugger bugger she's here!!" being shouting while dashing to the apparently not very sound proof door!

While we waited the 3 hours for the meat to slowly cook, I took her outside to burn the Christmas tree (romantic). I never knew that Christmas trees smoked so much but the smoke that bellowed from it almost put Icelands Volcano to shame!

Saturday was time for a bit of arty farty culture as we went to the Natural History Museum to see the Wildlife Photography Competition and the not so cultural "Sexual Nature" exhibit. After all that excitement we dodged and dived the corridors of lost camera wielding tourists and finally navigated our way out of the NHM and into the V and A for a bit of Renaissance art (I wasn't really that interested in the art I just seem to remember reading somewhere there was some nice cake in the V&A). I don't know if this effects any one else but Museums suck all the energy out of me, so we dashed home!

Not one to turn down free food we decided tonight was the night to use the free Nandos voucher I obtained from a previous bad visit to Nandos. I offered to collected it from the store (thinking it was only down the road). This was a great idea until 1)They told us it would be ready in 10 minutes, 2)It was almost 2 miles down the road! when I returned with the dry burnt grilled chicken the tiny portioned side dishes all not very nice, we decided to rent the A team to cheers us up! what a stupid mistake! of course we couldn't rely on Virgin to manage a whole film! as a result I spent an hour achieving nothing :(

Up in the Clouds

Morning!

Its got to be a quick one this morning as the Cloud Free WIFI has now decided its only going to allow us mere mortals just 15 minutes of free WIFI time. To be honest I agree with this move! Firstly who needs 24 hours of unlimited free wifi! it will only encourage us to delve deeper into the mists of a virtual society run by Facebook. Some may argue that we are reliant on the internet and its become an essential part of life, In part I agree. But it has come to the point where Starbucks is now illuminated by the glow of bright white half eaten Apples, while the users are all supporting a Grande double shot x hot, dry Latte and a unread copy of the complete works of Shakespeare all hoping the glow of their Apple logo will lure Females to them, ever hoping that one day a girl will be turned on by the latest version of Final Cut Pro (which really they don't understand how to use).

On the subject of females and internet, I don't know if any one googled Amber Heard during Top Gear last night (Sunday 20th Feb) I certainly did and it would appear evident that almost every male and lesbien did as google stream went crazy with millions of us on Google Images looking for pictures of this new found unknown gun wielding, hot pant wearing bisexual petrol head! I didn't think Jeremy Clarkson could handle that sort of excitement at his great age.

Well my 15 minutes are nearly up, stupidly I also didn't charge my laptop last night, So I've now got a nice shiny brick to carry around for the rest of the day!

I wonder how fraudsters get it so easy

I've never attempted to dip into the pool of fraudsters liars and cheats, but after this evenings little white lie to get hold of a friends postcode (I left at home on my satnav). It would appear I don't have the brains for fraud let alone the mentality!
Although in my mind at work I'm Gene Hunt when handed I.D for a contract by a customer, I like to sieve through the Identifying documents with with a fine tooth cone as finding a fraudster in our midst might well just make my day more interesting than counting the 52 ceiling tiles in our stoor.

any who

The plan was easy; explain to her that I'd got some postcodes written down and I wanted to send some Female/Female Jack plugs to a friend back home (in the CM postcode) but I had got their post codes mixed up and if I could have hers just to clarify, that would be great.
What on earth could go wrong. . . . Well I had forgot this girl was working for a cabling company she naturally pointed out to me in quite some research detail that Jack was female and plug was male . . . so there was no such thing as a Jack Plug and went on to prove her point. Wow plan failed miserably! All I wanted to do was send her a card! How people get credit card details is beyond me!