James Bond- Gone wrong

It all started while I was sat doing some work in Pret. Suddenly a young teen waved a baguette at me and asked "how much" I shrugged (but did fancy the baguette) and discovered someone pushing a map at me asking for directions, I pointed him on his way and off they went.

Now I've watched the Hustle on the BBC lots of times, so it didn't take me 2 seconds to realised they just nabbed my phone! damn then! I threw my kit in my bag and gave chase! Sadly I'm not a sprinter AT ALL! and I'd just ate quiet a large amount of cake so would inevitably be ill if I did give chase for more than a 50 metres or so! Also flip flops, a summery shirt and lose shorts that constantly fell down didn't help! From the brief chase I gave I do want to know how James Bond goes running down the street magically no one gets in the way. I got stuck behind two OAPS and prams!

I gave up, and returned to the cafe for cake to heal my wounds, What would of I had done if I did catch up with them anyway? Throw them to the ground and stamp on their neck till they gave the phone up! I Think not! neither could I think of anything dignified or acceptable to shout at them while children were around anyway.

Being British I didn't have time for a stern letter, So I started up the tracking software that I had on the iphone linked to my mac, Thinking it would be lovely and easy this impressive Apple software I was relying on had one small floor ... If they turn the phone off or go underground its crap! (again Bond never has trouble with this either) so I gave up that plan as well.
I marched as best I could in summer attire to the police station to report the crime where the PC sat behind the desk pointed to a phone in the corner. Seriously?
Press 1 If your being mugged, press 2 if you'r being assaulted press 3 for all drug related issues and muppets with unimportant issues press 4

Hovering my fingering 4 I was surprised to get through to a man, who after the first few questions was expecting me to solve the crime myself ... "Do you know the name and address of the men who stole your phone?" he questioned.

Seeming rather shocked I answered no to both, he continued with more pressing questions.

Still at 9 O clock the next day a man dress like a black power ranger turned up with a new shiny one for me! It was then it dawned on me the most costly thing they stole was the bloody case! Still at least they clearly had taste! It was TedBaker!